Movie Review: Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters

Where do I begin with this one?

I’m glad I didn’t see it in the theaters… the previews were lies.. I saw a few of the scenes in the movie and another in the “recap” part of the movie.

Second, how many other movies were released with close to the same title? I wanted to watch it on Netflix.. nope.. they had “Hansel & Gretel” but not the one I wanted, Redbox had another “Hansel & Gretel” I was getting frustrated until I finally went online and found it.

Geez…

Thankfully I went into the movie expecting something like Van Helsing… and that is what I got.

I like Famke Janssen, I really do. I’ve seen her in X-Men, Love & Sex, Eulogy,  and one of my favorites House on Haunted Hill.

She can play evil characters really well.. but I don’t think she had enough time to develop as her character.. which no one even said her name in the movie (I don’t think) and yet the credits she’s “Muriel”.

I think she’s having a Monday..

There are quite a few holes in this movie like Hasel’s sickness, what makes high witches special, why Muriel can change from normal looking to witchy looking, what in the world do trolls have to do with this movie, white witches, where the fancy weaponry came from if it’s supposed to be olden times, how in the world did Gretel go from a dress to pants?

But suspend disbelief when watching this movie and don’t let the kids see it, it’s R for language and gore.. because there’s some words that would not have been used during that time frame and lots of gore.. and scary jumpy scenes oh and some nudity.

I don’t think I will be watching this again.. because of the inconsistencies.. I have no problems being taken to the land of Oz or seeing what’s lurking in a haunted house, but bringing shot guns into near medieval times really  pushes my disbelief.

I would have gone with either being in present day or ditching the fancy guns for doing something more like Sleepy Hollow when Tim Burton remade it. It was still gory, but did a great job of staying in the past and sticking to what would have been available to use during that time.

Notable performance: The good witch Mina played by Pihla Viitala and the evil sheriff.. played by the awesome Peter Stormare.. don’t recognize him? If you’ve seen Constantine you should, he played Satan.

More reviews:

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/hansel_and_gretel_witch_hunters/

http://www.mania.com/hansel-gretel-witch-hunters-unrated-bluray-review_article_137743.html

http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/16409/hansel-and-gretel-witch-hunters-review/

http://www.cinemablend.com/reviews/Hansel-And-Gretel-Witch-Hunters-6290.html