Movie Review: Constantine

I know this is an oldie.. but I still love this movie.

Why? I love watching Rachel Weisz.. see my review for Oz the Great and Powerful. I love Tilda Swinton and Djimon Hounsou. And despite the fact that many people don’t give him credit as a good actor this was a good role for Keanu Reeves.

Granted, I don’t know anything about the graphic novel.. never read it, I might like it if I did.. but I do enjoy watching good vs evil, God vs Devil movies.

And the version of Hell in this movie is much more realistic than any other version of Hell I’ve seen in any other movie.

And Peter Stormare’s Satan was just the icing on the cake.

I loved Constantine’s flippant answers.. I’m drawn to sarcasm like a cat to tuna.

There are quite a few memorable quotes in the movie here are a few of my favorites:

“Heaven and hell are right here, behind every wall, every window, the world behind the world. And we’re smack in the middle.”

You’re handed this precious gift, right? Each one of you granted redemption from the Creator – murderers, rapists, molesters – all of you just have to repent, and God takes you into His bosom. In all the worlds and all the universe, no other creature can make such a boast, save man. It’s not fair.”

“If sweet, sweet God loves you so, then I will make you worthy of His love. But it’s only in the face of horror that you truly find your nobler selves – and you can be so noble. So … I will bring you pain. I will bring you horror.”

“I guess there’s a plan for all of us. I had to die … twice … just to figure that out. Like the book says, he works his work in a mysterious ways. Some people like it … some people don’t.”
“Angels and Demons cant cross over onto our plane. So, instead we get what I call half-breeds. The influence peddlers.They can only whisper in our ears. But a single word can give you courage, or turn your favorite pleasure into your worst nightmare.Those with the demons touch like those part angel, living alongside us. They call it the balance. I call it hypocritical bullshit.”

Noteable performance: The complaining sidekick.. you may recognize him.. that’s right it’s Shia LeBeouf you know from Transformers.

I think the movie appeals to me because of the whole God vs Devil thing.. I like watching Devil’s Advocate, Bedazzled and a few other movies like that for that reason.  But I like Constantine’s concept of there being an influence, people that are good or evil. They can either save or kill. I think everyone has that potential its whether or not they choose to use it.


Movie Review: Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters

Where do I begin with this one?

I’m glad I didn’t see it in the theaters… the previews were lies.. I saw a few of the scenes in the movie and another in the “recap” part of the movie.

Second, how many other movies were released with close to the same title? I wanted to watch it on Netflix.. nope.. they had “Hansel & Gretel” but not the one I wanted, Redbox had another “Hansel & Gretel” I was getting frustrated until I finally went online and found it.


Thankfully I went into the movie expecting something like Van Helsing… and that is what I got.

I like Famke Janssen, I really do. I’ve seen her in X-Men, Love & Sex, Eulogy,  and one of my favorites House on Haunted Hill.

She can play evil characters really well.. but I don’t think she had enough time to develop as her character.. which no one even said her name in the movie (I don’t think) and yet the credits she’s “Muriel”.

I think she’s having a Monday..

There are quite a few holes in this movie like Hasel’s sickness, what makes high witches special, why Muriel can change from normal looking to witchy looking, what in the world do trolls have to do with this movie, white witches, where the fancy weaponry came from if it’s supposed to be olden times, how in the world did Gretel go from a dress to pants?

But suspend disbelief when watching this movie and don’t let the kids see it, it’s R for language and gore.. because there’s some words that would not have been used during that time frame and lots of gore.. and scary jumpy scenes oh and some nudity.

I don’t think I will be watching this again.. because of the inconsistencies.. I have no problems being taken to the land of Oz or seeing what’s lurking in a haunted house, but bringing shot guns into near medieval times really  pushes my disbelief.

I would have gone with either being in present day or ditching the fancy guns for doing something more like Sleepy Hollow when Tim Burton remade it. It was still gory, but did a great job of staying in the past and sticking to what would have been available to use during that time.

Notable performance: The good witch Mina played by Pihla Viitala and the evil sheriff.. played by the awesome Peter Stormare.. don’t recognize him? If you’ve seen Constantine you should, he played Satan.

More reviews:

10 and 10 (Reviews on Movies)


I know it’s normally time for the weekend adventures and since I’m not back from my extended weekend adventure I figured I would at least give everyone my list of the best and worst movies I’ve seen along take a look  and let me know what you think

10 best (with comments)

300 – half naked men killing things.. what’s not to like? it’s an underdog story of 300 men being outnumbered by a vicious army threatening to take everything they have

fight club – i love edward norton in this movie.. I mean love him, i adore the script and have yet to read the book.. i’m sure I will like it. I saw this in college for the first time and was floored by it.

moulin rouge – i’m not one of musicals.. but this was different. Nicole Kidman did the best thing she could ever do by taking this role. I loved Baz Lurman’s take on Romeo & Juliet, but to come up with this.. I could hug the man myself. The colors, songs, acting, dancing, singing.. are just amazing.

black swan – I finally saw this on 5/9.. I was floored.. the previews made me want to watch it and they did not do this film justice. Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis were amazing. I loved the visual effects because they made you think “did I see what I thought I saw?”

Constant Gardener – I love Rachel Weisz, especially in this movie, she is passionate, dedicated and determined to save the people who have been so kind to her. and her poor husband has to try to piece things together..

Lilo & Stitch – I’ve already proclaimed my love for this movie in an earlier post but its

The Dark Knight  – this made the list solely because of heath ledger.. he did the joker with a darkness that I thought only a older well seasoned actor could capture. he was sadistic, the script was great.. I love Morgan freeman.. I really do.

House of Flying Daggers – Yes this is a foreign film..and yes it has subtitles but the movie is a visual feast for the eyes.

Iron Man 2  – I love Robert Downey Jr. He is a very talented actor who makes you hate and like him


*bonus * lord of the rings trilogy – ok i admit to being a total geek for this movie, but if it wasn’t for Peter Jackson I would never know  how beautiful New Zealand is or how badly I want to go there.. where do I begin? the script was great, the costumes were awesome.. everything was believeable.. what can i say, I’m a sucker for castle and swords and men in armor.. and long flowing gowns and anything remotely medieval in nature.

top 10 worst (with comments)

the hills have eyes – gross.. that is the one word i can use to summarize this movie.. just bloody, gorey and gross.. I don’t mind some blood and gore to get the point across (

cabin fever – another movie with gore and blood that didn’t really need it.. and what’s the deal with the pancakes kid? I thought just didn’t get it, turns out it wasn’t meant to be gotten

the big lebowski – oh jeez this was so bad i really don’t remember most of it

blair witch 2 – blair witch did nothing for me, i guess because my dad used to leave the camera lens off when we went on walks along the countryside in germany so i found the whole thing ridicilous. blair witch 2 could have been so much better if the director and studio would have agree. supposedly the director wanted it one way and the studio edited it to their tastes and released this horrid pice of film.. i could have written a better and scarier script than this it had very little to do with the original movie itself.

13 ghosts – oh geez another ghost movie.. this movie was bad for several reasons.. there was no background story on the ghosts that were trapped in the house and the supporting characters spend most of their screen time running around and screaming or arguing.. the whole concept of the house was just unbelieveable

batman & robin (w/mr freeze and posion ivy) – where to start with this one? first of all arnold playing mr. freeze.. uma thurman playing posion ivy, batgirl, robin and batman.. way too many main characters battling for screen time, the script was horrid

cat woman (halle berry) – why hallie berry took this role I will never know, in reading the script itself it was horrid.. i mean i love and adore cats as much as the next crazy cat lady but this is no michelle pheiffer.. who was an execellent cat woman in batman returns.. she was tortured, sadist and an all around bad girl.halle berry makes it look just plain silly, i mean this really makes me question her acting abilities.. granted she did play storm in x-men which that too was campy.. but it was x-men where the effects were supposed to be outlandish but fit in with the characters and were made believable

the league of extraordinary gentlemen – peta wilson isn’t a good actress, I will be the first to admit this, though I was an avid watcher of la femme nikita, in hindsight she was kind of bad.. and combining her with sean connery, stuart townsend (another not-so good actor) and a few others in a special effects laden comic book movie equals disaster.. they could have made the script into something dark and film noir like batman begins or dark knight, but they went for the generic comic book to screen script

the mist– the premise was great.. until you add a bible thumper and the creatures were scary.. especially the tentacly thing.. but when they finally escaped and the end of the movie came it was like one of those “it was only a dream” moments and I was left angry and glad I didn’t waste the money going to see it on the big screen much less renting or purchasing it

storm of the century – the 2nd stephen king mini series movie to make the worst list.. it had a good plot really it did but then it simply lost the plot and became stupid.. like mr. king got lazy and hurried to end the story

* bonus * queen of the damned – loved interview with a vampire.. i loved the combination of brad pitt and tom cruise but queen of the damned left me confused and my ears ringing.. i have tried in vain to read ann rice’s novels but i do understand that the movie combined queen of the damned with the vampire lestat and was not approved by ann rice herself.. now when the author doesn’t approve of the movie it really says something


Movie Review: Let Me In

let right in let me in

Let Me In is a American remake of Let the Right One In, which is Swedish. I got saw Let Me In last night and it was good and there were a few changes, from the Swedish version, there was more blood and gore, names were changed and places were changed. The film was set in 1983 instead of 1981. I would have hoped it had been set in the 90’s instead as that would have been more interesting to me.

But it was a good movie. Reminded me of how cruel young children can be and how indifferent adults are to children’s suffering.

I would still suggest watching the original version and/or reading the book. I have not gotten a hold of a copy of the book yet nor have I decided if I want the ebook or paperback. There is something rather satisfying about paperback.

I found Let Me In on Verzion’s Free Movies from If you have Verizon you can find it there, or on